agony-of-angel:

I CAN’T BREATHE OH MY FUCKING GOD.

“I just don’t want to talk to you.”
“Because you just got me in trouble.”
“I don’t think I want to see you tomorrow.” 

1. Go to Carnival > Win stuff animals > Ferris Wheel @ Night 
   
2. Road trip together to Universal Studios/Disney and swim at the beach
   
    
3. Lay in bed naked, talking about “us” and while listening to music
   
4. Sitting near the Eiffel Tower at night, while having a picnic
    
5. On a Christmas day, just the two of us, wearing granny christmas sweater and baking ginger bread men together
   
6. Laying on the roof of your car and looking at the stars
    
7. Making breakfast together after a great night
    
8. Going out camping together, just the two of us, to get away from everyone
    
   
   
9. Going to thrift stores, finding grandpa sweaters
    
   
   
10. Try and wake you up by nuzzling on your neck
     
    
    
11. Chugging down about 5 of these and seeing who will pee the longest
    
    
    
12. While sun is setting we can lay down on your car’s roof and stare at the stars, while cuddling with a blanket
    
    
    
13. Us cuddling in your bed and falling asleep to your voice while you strum your guitar my lullaby to me
    
    
    
14. For us to both see my Spanish 1 teacher, Senora Garcia from my Sophomore year and visit her with Raphael. I have given her my “Yo soy..” project to keep and show her the date I wrote (Raphael & I’s date that we have been together since) on my project.. I proudly will show her we are still together and married
    
    

On our wedding day, we will forever be each other’s and not worry about a day not being able to be together for a day nor try worrying how we miss each other, once we have now settled out lives, together.. forever.

12:15 AM Friday

I am blogging this late, I am absolutely not use to this time at all. Ha, my laptop is still connected to California time, which is, 9:15 PM over there. Well, I just wanted to talk about how… I think about how I could try understanding myself. I don’t even know where to start, but me as a person does not make sense. Sometimes I know there’s not a single human that will not understand one fragment of me. I expect so much, hope so much, disappoint myself in the end. My expectations are to be known and be fulfilled. But I really ask for too much, I swear I do. I only want someone to know every part of me, to predict every movement or decision I would make after one another. Raphael, since you are the only one who knows me so very well, I expect you to know how I would feel in the end.. Like I said I expect one thing, hope for it, then once it’s misunderstood, I disappoint myself. It’s hard to keep up with what mood I will be in, one thing can really set me off.. it can lead to just the usual, making me think everything is my fault. You just hope I will understand, I am just like my Dad, he will never come to understand himself or his condition. It somewhat relates to me, you wish for me to understand you. Same goes for my mom wishing my Dad to understand himself and her feelings. But hey they do not fully relate to each other, just the basics of it. Sorry, probably didn’t make sense in that last sentence. But… I really think I do. I don’t know, I’m done with this post. 

It was all good today, hung out with the family the whole day before I head to school tomorrow. We chilled at home, being super bored and finally had a water fight with my little cousin, Nathan. That was super fun, we were just chasing each other with the water hose. We all decided to go to the Barrio Fiesta for like an hour and saw Norie-Anne. 

• More familia came and all hung out at the playground
• Took a dare to get a face paint just like Dark Maul
• Washed off half of it because I look like a serious fool with a mustache
• End up going to In-N-Out and eating like a barbarian
• Tolerated my talkative baby cousin, Isys.. 
• Now staring at the computer with Nathan, he’s always my favorite

Good day, good day.